There Is No Such Thing As 'LGBTQ+'

For the love of God, can we all stop pretending.

Guess what, folks. I’m not a lesbian. I’m not bisexual, transgender, “queer,” or whatever the plus sign stands for either. I’m gay. That’s it.

There has never been and never will be a person who is simultaneously L, G, B, T, Q, and “+.” And, apart from our humanity, there is not a single thing that all of the people supposedly represented by that ridiculous acronym have in common. Stringing those letters together amounts to nothing more than agitprop: the false impression that we’re a singleminded monolith.

We. Are. Not.

When I say, “I’m gay,” what does that mean? It means that I’m a male who is exclusively attracted to other males.

And what does it not mean?

It does not mean that I’m a Democrat or a Republican or an Independent. It does not mean that I’m an atheist or a Christian or a Muslim or a Jew. It does not mean that I think kids should transition, sex is a spectrum, or males belong in women’s sports and prisons. And it sure as hell does not mean that GLAAD or HRC or any other multimillion-dollar “LGBTQ+” organization speaks for me.

In short, my sexual identity has nothing to do with what I think and believe. So the next time you come across a headline describing how “LGBTQ+” people feel about one issue or another, how we plan to vote in the next election, or what we all think about Billie Eilish’s Grammys speech, do not for a second assume that the headline is telling you anything about me. Rather, if you’d like to know any of this, just ask me.

Take, for example, the Out article, “From Messing to Minaj: 11 divas who disappointed LGBTQ+ fans.” Since I’m a “G,” you might think I’m one of those “fans” who was “disappointed” to learn that Sydney Sweeney registered as a Republican, or that Debra Messing voted for an establishment Democrat over a Socialist midwit for New York mayor, or that Kristin Chenoweth said she “didn’t always agree but appreciated some [of Charlie Kirk’s] perspectives,” or that a Pussycat Doll is a Christian.

On the contrary, these things have no effect on me one way or the other. And it’s important to me that you all know that, because I think that anyone who is affected is actually kind of ridiculous.

And that includes the article’s author, the trans lesbian (i.e., straight male) Mey Rude. Besides writing for Out, Rude is a “sensitivity reader,” which means that, for a fee, he’ll read your book manuscript to make sure it doesn’t perpetuate any “harmful tropes” about trans people. According to Rude’s website, he’s been doing this since 2015, which was about three years before he wrote an online guide where lesbians can learn how to have sex with men.

“Try putting your mouth around the tip with your tongue cupping the bottom of it. Now suck,” he wrote.

Reader, it pains me to be the one to have to tell you this, but cocksucking does not a lesbian make. Do feel free to pass that tidbit of knowledge along. While you’re at it, if you wouldn’t mind mentioning that every gay person is an individual with his or her own thoughts, experiences, and beliefs, that would be great.

Oh, and Mr. Rude, I would really appreciate it if you and your friends at Out and GLAAD and HRC would learn to keep my identity out of your goddamn mouths.

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