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Gary Lucia's avatar

I have that paranoia every day at work (brought on by my own attempt at speaking up, via my blog post about Disney). And nothing has really happened to me either! But that's not to say I've been supported--the only people who have supported me have done so in private messages. The topic doesn't come up unless i bring it up...and I don't bring it up unless I have to. People are busy and (being low-payed Disney employees) struggling, so they have other things to worry about than 'Gary's issue'. Of the gay coworkers I have, they are all Pronoun People. My boss is a gay man my age who told me the weekend after I posted my first blog piece, "I know you're going through something and I can't really say I understand but you have the right to say it." I just said thank you, but later I thought, 'I'm not GOING THROUGH something; I'm AWARE of something.'

I pretty much wrote off the 'gay community' years ago. The majority of gay men are ignorant, or ill-informed, or just can't be bothered with thinking about anything deeper than the last episode of Real Housewives. People ask me why I am single and I ask them to let me know where the gay men are. Not 'queer,' not 'non-binary', not women cosplaying as gay men or men identifying as women...just actual same-sex-loving men.

I think you were brave to visit Fire Island! I'm glad you were able to have a good time. I went on a vacation recently too. One stop was in San Diego to visit my brother and sister-in-law and niece, who is 12 and (naturally) has a couple friends who identify as trans. My brother and sister-in-law think I've spent too much time in Florida amongst Conservatives, which I find annoying/funny. Apparently the view that there are only two sexes is 'Conservative'. My mention that gender ideology is like a religion was met with horror. They said something I also recently saw Andrew Sullivan tweet: the idea that 'trans people are not lying; they must really feel like the opposite sex or else why would they go through this?!' I don't think trans people are LYING--I believe they really believe it. The same way I believe that Christians really believe in God. But I'm an atheist, 100%. I don't believe in God OR an internal 'gendered soul'. I don't have to believe what other people believe.

I do think there are a lot of people who are 'going along to get along' but I also think that a lot of people really believe they are supporting the correct 'side'. I discovered through our conversations that there were a great many things my Liberal Californian relatives were unaware of, due to them wanting to be supportive of the LGBTQIAetc. and also living in their bubble. (Primarily, their naive belief that they would have control of the situation as parents if my tomboy niece came home one day and announced she was trans. In California!? Please. One conversation with a guidance counselor at school about how her parents wouldn't use her new pronouns, and she'd be removed from that house.)

I appreciate you and it's writers like you who keep me hopeful and motivated. ['Flashing Green' = 'Keep Going'] I will also keep speaking up...but it sure is lonely, exhausting, and frustrating.

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Hanna's avatar

Great piece. New subscriber now. I’ve been wanting to scream from the rooftop for years now after I researched the issue and understood what was happening. I was on tumblr 10 years ago when I saw young kids being indoctrinated in real time with the gender ideology. The baseless idea from academia that we all have a gender identity becoming popular in the wider culture at the same time that the affirmative model of care was adopted created the perfect storm for this sociogenic and iatrogenic condition of our time. I have started to speak up more, though it has led to being iced out by friends. It has always bothered me that so few people have the ability to think critically, historically, and to see the cultural influences underlying gender dysphoria. We treat problems of the mind and culture as problems of the body. Backwards.

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