I'm a trans woman. If my parents had not beaten me for it, I'd have told them I was a girl in grade school. What kept me quiet was terror, not wisdom. I lost years trying to live as a man, and I'm angry about them.
The American Academy of Pediatrics describes trans youth as persistent, consistent, and insistent (Rafferty, 2018). I met all three, with a heavy dose of fear that my father would beat me. I stayed quiet because I'd correctly assessed what would happen if I didn't.
So when your piece frames the long wait as a net good, I have to push back. The failure mode you worry about is real. So is the opposite: a trans girl who dissociates from her body for a decade because transition is unthinkable at home. I lived the second one.
The panel's sources don't hold up either. Lisa paraphrased Strangio as admitting “the suicide statistics aren't true.” What he said was that studies don't show this treatment reduces completed suicide, that completed suicide is rare, and that those studies are underpowered to detect rare events. He then added that long-term longitudinal studies do show reductions in suicidality, meaning ideation and attempts (Supreme Court of the United States, 2024, pp. 90–91). Those are the outcomes mental health interventions are evaluated on. Peer-reviewed critics have raised similar bias concerns about the Cass Review Alito cited (Noone et al., 2025), and when Olson followed kids who had socially transitioned, 94% still identified as trans five years later (Olson et al., 2022).
The NYT/Ipsos poll collapsed puberty blockers with hormones, ages 10 through 18, into one bucket, and asked about “athletes who were male at birth.” When Data for Progress presented a specific scenario (an 18-year-old who had been receiving care since age 13), 54% supported continuation (Data for Progress, 2025). Opinion here is a function of how you ask.
None of this excuses the shouting. Shutting Cori down was indefensible. But “let them grow up first” is not a neutral position when “growing up first” means years of dissociation I'll never get back.
Noone, C., Southgate, A., Ashman, A., Quinn, É., Comer, D., Shrewsbury, D., Ashley, F., Hartland, J., Paschedag, J., Gilmore, J., Kennedy, N., Woolley, T. E., Heath, R., Biskupovic Goulding, R., Simpson, V., Kiely, E., Coll, S., White, M., Grijseels, D. M., Ouafik, M., & McLamore, Q. (2025). Critically appraising the Cass report: Methodological flaws and unsupported claims. BMC Medical Research Methodology, 25, 128. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12874-025-02581-7
Olson, K. R., Durwood, L., Horton, R., Gallagher, N. M., & Devor, A. (2022). Gender identity 5 years after social transition. Pediatrics, 150(2), e2021056082. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2021-056082
The part about Lisa's daughter being asked for her pronouns and if she was a "trans boy" and the part about the book I Am Jazz makes me think of this particular excerpt from a book called "100 Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls". The book itself is a collection of stories inspirational girls and women who were pioneers/trailblazers in their respective fields. One of these stories was about a 7-year-old boy named Coy Mathis, who was born a boy but felt that he was a girl. And why did he feel that he was a girl? Because he liked dresses, the colour pink and shiny shoes.
The actual excerpt from the book is:
"Once upon a time, a boy named Coy was born. Coy loved dresses, the color pink and shiny shoes. Coy wanted his parents to address him as "she" and didn't like wearing boys clothes. His parents let him wear whatever he liked. "
Following the above introduction, it details how Coy's parents took him to the doctor after he asked to be fixed into a "girl-girl" and the doctor tells them that Coy is transgender. Then the school tells Coy that he must use the boy's bathroom or the disabled bathroom. Coy's parents take the situation up with a judge who says that Coy should be allowed to use whichever bathroom he wants.
The final lines from the excerpt are: "Coy and her parents threw a big party to celebrate. They ate pink cake, and Coy wore a sparkly pink dress and beautiful pink shoes."
I originally read it when I was around 11 or 12, and even then I thought it was weird that the only reason Coy is considered to be a girl is because he likes pink and sparkly things. So that's what it means to a girl or a woman? Is that really it? Liking pink and sparkly things automatically classifies you as a woman? So what about the girls and women who don't like those things? Do they count as "men" now? I myself wasn't a big fan of pink when I originally read that book. It definitely didn't make me feel that I wasn't a girl. It just mystifies me that an entire gender could be encompassed down to liking pink and sparkly things.
You're the first person I've seen who has articulated this in a clear and non-bigoted manner. Thank you for your perspective.
100% agree. it's a hideous contagious mind disease that's being spread to children. lm pretty sure that with many of these kids it's attention seeking and it needs nipping in the bud quickly
About the building in the photo: when I see that symbolism so prominently and loudly displayed, I get a different message than civil rights and respect for the outlier individuals with peculiar sexual/gender identities. I see an agenda that centers Androgynous Polymorphous Ambisexuality as the new baseline of sexual identity. Displacing the traditional biology-based paradigm of human sexual identity, Dimorphism.
It the Transgender Transvaluationists would stop playing the shell game and come right out and admit it, that might make for an enlightening debate.
“take care of ourselves and one another” with things like “headphones, fidgets, coloring books, bubbles, snacks, treats.” What treats? Fruit Rolls? Animal crackers? Bear Paws?
This is how self-infantilized these people are. It's not a Gen Z thing either; Christina Hoff Sommers commented on college student 'feminists' who needed 'safe spaces' and when there was a campus speaker they didn't like (in the era before cancellation and deplatforming, the '90s), they put up posters where people who objected also, could come to their 'safe room' and play with fingerpaints and colouring books. Yes really. That would have been the latter X'ers, actually - the earliest Millennials were still in junior high.
I am a Christian conservative who deeply appreciates the courage of Ben, Cori, and Lisa. I have learned a great deal by reading Lisa's work. I am a retired pediatrician and so baffled and ashamed of what so many of our leading children's hospitals have permitted and/or encouraged. The logic of Lisa is entirely consistent with our understanding of the developing person in the formative years. The culture of gender dysphoria clinics is adjusted and highly focused on endorsing change for deeply confused children and adolescents. I hope that plaintiff lawyers will scare children's hospitals from continuing this madness.
I appreciate the courage it took to go and participate at this meeting, especially considering how you had to deal with people who's indoctrination is so over the top I can only compare to to religious zealotry.
It's a very eye opening story to say the least, and you've given me a much better understanding of the whole transgender issue in our schools.
Watched this live-streamed. Thank you Ben, Cori, & Lisa. Your intelligence, healthy communication skill sets, courage, & conviction is greatly admired & respected. Wholly agree with Cori… these kids in 10 years time will be crying, “Where were the responsible adults? Why didn’t any of them protect me? I was just a kid; I didn’t know!” Many desistors & detransitioners have already experienced & shared exactly this. There is a great need for these now adults to connect with the younger generation drowning in the identity sea. I believe some of this work may have begun at Beyond Trans (within Genspect).
I watched the video of the meeting. It was maddening to listen to the audience members responses since they clearly had no intention of actually listening to what was said. It is clear to me that the indoctrination runs deep. Most of my family gets it but there are a few who insist men are women if they say they are. My poor son is under this delusion too, Thank you so much for the work you are doing,
This is brilliant! (Although, I was a little confused by what I suspect may be typos in "Defending the 1st A and viewpoint diversity, as your mom did, is at its most robust when you do more than just begrudgingly allow speech but when you actually listen to other points of views. And here those points of view included multiple D2 parents.” ) But reading your essay together with the recently released Executive Order from the White House on Gender Ideology, I'm feeling energized, to say the least. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!
Ben, my experience does not fit your frame.
I'm a trans woman. If my parents had not beaten me for it, I'd have told them I was a girl in grade school. What kept me quiet was terror, not wisdom. I lost years trying to live as a man, and I'm angry about them.
The American Academy of Pediatrics describes trans youth as persistent, consistent, and insistent (Rafferty, 2018). I met all three, with a heavy dose of fear that my father would beat me. I stayed quiet because I'd correctly assessed what would happen if I didn't.
So when your piece frames the long wait as a net good, I have to push back. The failure mode you worry about is real. So is the opposite: a trans girl who dissociates from her body for a decade because transition is unthinkable at home. I lived the second one.
The panel's sources don't hold up either. Lisa paraphrased Strangio as admitting “the suicide statistics aren't true.” What he said was that studies don't show this treatment reduces completed suicide, that completed suicide is rare, and that those studies are underpowered to detect rare events. He then added that long-term longitudinal studies do show reductions in suicidality, meaning ideation and attempts (Supreme Court of the United States, 2024, pp. 90–91). Those are the outcomes mental health interventions are evaluated on. Peer-reviewed critics have raised similar bias concerns about the Cass Review Alito cited (Noone et al., 2025), and when Olson followed kids who had socially transitioned, 94% still identified as trans five years later (Olson et al., 2022).
The NYT/Ipsos poll collapsed puberty blockers with hormones, ages 10 through 18, into one bucket, and asked about “athletes who were male at birth.” When Data for Progress presented a specific scenario (an 18-year-old who had been receiving care since age 13), 54% supported continuation (Data for Progress, 2025). Opinion here is a function of how you ask.
None of this excuses the shouting. Shutting Cori down was indefensible. But “let them grow up first” is not a neutral position when “growing up first” means years of dissociation I'll never get back.
Grace Ann Hansen
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Check my work!:
Appel, B. (2025, January 19). It's time for this madness to end. Ben Appel's Newsletter. https://benappel.substack.com/p/perhaps-its-time-we-went-scorched
Data for Progress. (2025, March 27). Americans are divided on issues related to transgender people, but often don't want the federal government involved. https://www.dataforprogress.org/blog/2025/3/27/americans-are-divided-on-issues-related-to-transgender-people-but-often-dont-want-the-federal-government-involved
Ipsos. (2025, January 17). New York Times/Ipsos poll: Topline results, January 2–10, 2025. The New York Times. https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/documenttools/f548560f100205ef/e656ddda-full.pdf
Noone, C., Southgate, A., Ashman, A., Quinn, É., Comer, D., Shrewsbury, D., Ashley, F., Hartland, J., Paschedag, J., Gilmore, J., Kennedy, N., Woolley, T. E., Heath, R., Biskupovic Goulding, R., Simpson, V., Kiely, E., Coll, S., White, M., Grijseels, D. M., Ouafik, M., & McLamore, Q. (2025). Critically appraising the Cass report: Methodological flaws and unsupported claims. BMC Medical Research Methodology, 25, 128. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12874-025-02581-7
Olson, K. R., Durwood, L., Horton, R., Gallagher, N. M., & Devor, A. (2022). Gender identity 5 years after social transition. Pediatrics, 150(2), e2021056082. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2021-056082
Rafferty, J. (2018). Ensuring comprehensive care and support for transgender and gender-diverse children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 142(4), e20182162. https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/4/e20182162/37381/Ensuring-Comprehensive-Care-and-Support-for
Supreme Court of the United States. (2024, December 4). Oral argument transcript: United States v. Skrmetti, No. 23-477. https://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_transcripts/2024/23-477_c07d.pdf
Very clear! Excellent read. Thank you for all you do.
The part about Lisa's daughter being asked for her pronouns and if she was a "trans boy" and the part about the book I Am Jazz makes me think of this particular excerpt from a book called "100 Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls". The book itself is a collection of stories inspirational girls and women who were pioneers/trailblazers in their respective fields. One of these stories was about a 7-year-old boy named Coy Mathis, who was born a boy but felt that he was a girl. And why did he feel that he was a girl? Because he liked dresses, the colour pink and shiny shoes.
The actual excerpt from the book is:
"Once upon a time, a boy named Coy was born. Coy loved dresses, the color pink and shiny shoes. Coy wanted his parents to address him as "she" and didn't like wearing boys clothes. His parents let him wear whatever he liked. "
Following the above introduction, it details how Coy's parents took him to the doctor after he asked to be fixed into a "girl-girl" and the doctor tells them that Coy is transgender. Then the school tells Coy that he must use the boy's bathroom or the disabled bathroom. Coy's parents take the situation up with a judge who says that Coy should be allowed to use whichever bathroom he wants.
The final lines from the excerpt are: "Coy and her parents threw a big party to celebrate. They ate pink cake, and Coy wore a sparkly pink dress and beautiful pink shoes."
I originally read it when I was around 11 or 12, and even then I thought it was weird that the only reason Coy is considered to be a girl is because he likes pink and sparkly things. So that's what it means to a girl or a woman? Is that really it? Liking pink and sparkly things automatically classifies you as a woman? So what about the girls and women who don't like those things? Do they count as "men" now? I myself wasn't a big fan of pink when I originally read that book. It definitely didn't make me feel that I wasn't a girl. It just mystifies me that an entire gender could be encompassed down to liking pink and sparkly things.
You're the first person I've seen who has articulated this in a clear and non-bigoted manner. Thank you for your perspective.
Glad you did this, even though it wasn't easy. I admire your patience and hope to emulate it. Bookmarking for ideas and strategy!
❤️
100% agree. it's a hideous contagious mind disease that's being spread to children. lm pretty sure that with many of these kids it's attention seeking and it needs nipping in the bud quickly
About the building in the photo: when I see that symbolism so prominently and loudly displayed, I get a different message than civil rights and respect for the outlier individuals with peculiar sexual/gender identities. I see an agenda that centers Androgynous Polymorphous Ambisexuality as the new baseline of sexual identity. Displacing the traditional biology-based paradigm of human sexual identity, Dimorphism.
It the Transgender Transvaluationists would stop playing the shell game and come right out and admit it, that might make for an enlightening debate.
Thanks for taking the time to write this up. Much appreciated. Very interesting. I wish it coudl get traction, lots of traction.
“take care of ourselves and one another” with things like “headphones, fidgets, coloring books, bubbles, snacks, treats.” What treats? Fruit Rolls? Animal crackers? Bear Paws?
This is how self-infantilized these people are. It's not a Gen Z thing either; Christina Hoff Sommers commented on college student 'feminists' who needed 'safe spaces' and when there was a campus speaker they didn't like (in the era before cancellation and deplatforming, the '90s), they put up posters where people who objected also, could come to their 'safe room' and play with fingerpaints and colouring books. Yes really. That would have been the latter X'ers, actually - the earliest Millennials were still in junior high.
Gen Z is barely out of diapers, emotionally.
I am a Christian conservative who deeply appreciates the courage of Ben, Cori, and Lisa. I have learned a great deal by reading Lisa's work. I am a retired pediatrician and so baffled and ashamed of what so many of our leading children's hospitals have permitted and/or encouraged. The logic of Lisa is entirely consistent with our understanding of the developing person in the formative years. The culture of gender dysphoria clinics is adjusted and highly focused on endorsing change for deeply confused children and adolescents. I hope that plaintiff lawyers will scare children's hospitals from continuing this madness.
I appreciate the courage it took to go and participate at this meeting, especially considering how you had to deal with people who's indoctrination is so over the top I can only compare to to religious zealotry.
It's a very eye opening story to say the least, and you've given me a much better understanding of the whole transgender issue in our schools.
Bravo for this. I watched the video too. Often difficult to watch. Thank you. I learned a lot.
Watched this live-streamed. Thank you Ben, Cori, & Lisa. Your intelligence, healthy communication skill sets, courage, & conviction is greatly admired & respected. Wholly agree with Cori… these kids in 10 years time will be crying, “Where were the responsible adults? Why didn’t any of them protect me? I was just a kid; I didn’t know!” Many desistors & detransitioners have already experienced & shared exactly this. There is a great need for these now adults to connect with the younger generation drowning in the identity sea. I believe some of this work may have begun at Beyond Trans (within Genspect).
"Boys who want to present in a feminine way, have long hair, take a feminine name—they have to be safe in male spaces."
There is no evidence indicating that femme-presenting boys are any less safe in male spaces than other boys.
In contrast, there are plenty of examples of girls being less safe when they are obliged to share spaces with boys.
Schools have already been putting resources into anti-bullying campaigns, that's where the focus appropriately lies for boys.
I watched the video of the meeting. It was maddening to listen to the audience members responses since they clearly had no intention of actually listening to what was said. It is clear to me that the indoctrination runs deep. Most of my family gets it but there are a few who insist men are women if they say they are. My poor son is under this delusion too, Thank you so much for the work you are doing,
This is brilliant! (Although, I was a little confused by what I suspect may be typos in "Defending the 1st A and viewpoint diversity, as your mom did, is at its most robust when you do more than just begrudgingly allow speech but when you actually listen to other points of views. And here those points of view included multiple D2 parents.” ) But reading your essay together with the recently released Executive Order from the White House on Gender Ideology, I'm feeling energized, to say the least. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!
Thanks for putting together this lengthy and illuminating recap.